How to Make Self-Care Actually Work For You
Self-Care
Everyone always hears about self-care. “Have you tried taking a day just for yourself?” “What are you doing for self-care?” “This is what I do for self-care. Maybe you should try it as well.” But for some people self-care is an idea they’ve never tried nor does it feel accessible or doable. Especially for busy parents working full times jobs. When will you get the time to do this so called unattainable “self-care” in between working, cleaning, cooking, taking care of children and pets, let alone having any social life? I’ve been there. In fact I am there right now! So I get how hard it can be to make self-care a priority or even something realistic.
I believe in the idea of if you can’t do 100% at least try for 1%, 1% is better than 0%. So my goal is to help people learn to take 1% out of their day. Ideally it would be more than that but if you can’t manage any more than great, let’s work with 1%.
So let’s imagine you’re a busy adult working and trying to manage your busy life. Most adults don’t get the full 8 hours of sleep a night so I’m going to say 6 hours of sleep, plus 8 hours of work. So you have 24 hours in a day and minus sleep and work that leaves you with 10 hours. Let’s take 1% of that and you get 10 minutes. So let’s set a goal of 10 minutes to begin. You can set aside 10 minutes a day or 10 minutes a week or twice a week, whatever works for you. Below you’ll find a beginners list of ideas for self-care. The goal is not to do what should be considered “self-care” but instead what will help you have relaxing YOU time. No children, no partner needing your attention, just YOU doing what you need for your sanity.
In therapy we can also work together on more specific plans to create time and an ability to do self-care. It may not feel important but it has been proven to reduce or eliminate anxiety and depression, reduce stress, improve concentration, minimize frustration and anger, increase happiness, improve energy, and more.
Self-Care Ideas:
Take a short walk - it can be a fast, quick walk to get the heart rate up and blood pumping or it can be a mindful, leisurely walk to be present in the moment and notice all of the sights, sounds, smells, etc around you.
Listen to music - noise canceling headphones to drown out all busy, loud noises of a busy home.
Take a bath - even if you aren’t someone to enjoy a bath, it’s a chunk of time you can lock the door and have peaceful, quiet time to yourself. Ask your partner to make sure the children don’t bother you. Or if you’re a single parent ask the oldest to keep the others entertained for a few minutes while you soak in the tub (and make a reward if they’re successful).
Read funny jokes or watch funny videos - laughter is seriously beneficial to your mental health and sometimes just a short funny clip is enough to turn your day around and brighten it up a little. It also works to distract children when they’re stuck and being rock brained.
Coloring - it’s not just for children. There are even apps on your phones/tablets you can use to color for relaxation and you can do it anywhere on the go.
Reading - Escape into another world. If you’re not a big reader listen to an audio book or podcast on something positive or funny. Just avoid negative, heavy subjects if you’re working through depression or anxiety.
Do nothing - it’s harder than it sounds. Try to do nothing. No thinking either. If you have a thought, simply recognize it and let it float away. Just be.
Get outside and look into the distance, as far as you can - sometimes our eyes get so used to looking short distances such as to your phone or computer screen or just what’s right in front of you taking a few minutes to look at the horizon or tree line for away can feel very refreshing.
Take a nap - even if you don’t sleep just rest, close your eyes and envision the comfiest, coziest sleepy environment and bed and snuggle into that thought and rest.
Guided imagery - it sounds scary but it’s not. It’s very simple and there are so many apps or YouTube videos with them you can follow for free and you can choose the amount of time you want to spend on one. If you’re a tense person you can also try physical relaxation techniques instead to bring calmness to your body.
Be in nature - go to the ocean, go listen to a river flowing, go into the mountains and enjoy the views. While you’re in nature use all of your senses and notice - What do I see? What do I hear? What do I smell? What do I feel? What do I taste? Spend time becoming grounded in nature.
For more ideas on self-care just google self-care ideas for (and insert your identifiers - busy mom, busy dad, single parent, stressed student, or anxious child, etc)
